I had an embarrassing and frightening experience yesterday afternoon in Ortigas.
I am unfortunately what you would identify as “Lost-Beyond-Makati” type. Although I lived in Cubao for a year, due to reassignment of work, I only limited myself to the neighboring streets, malls like Gateway (Where my office is located to be exact) and MRT stations. If anyone expects me to locate specific QC streets, Tomas Morato restaurants, and other QC, Manila destinations, then it’s like expecting me to run around in circles and waste gas.
There’s something about traveling in the North versus traveling in the south for me. There’s more nerve wracking experiences in the north due to its very vast and challenging territory, whereas south has a more linear and organized suburb distinction.
Yesterday, we were assigned to attend this very interesting seminar at Philippine Stock Exchange, not in Makati, but in Ortigas. You guessed it, another alien turf for me. People would actually think of me as a degenerate, but I only know Ortigas of its Metrowalk and Unionbank building because it’s Bags’ area. But ask me how to get there? I’d probably say go to Edsa, look at MEgamall and start to ask for directions.
After my PSE seminar in Tektite, I had to go to Metrowalk to meet up with Bags. How I would get there? Simple. Take a taxi. Because walking is already eliminated due to couple of discouragements from people who happen to know Me and Ortigas.
I got off at 5 and battled it out at the taxi stand, but to no avail. I walked a few steps and assessed my alternatives. I could just walk, right? But I saw an fx hurtling my way bearing a sign “PASIG.” I immediately thought that it’s the same FX service that roams within the streets of the area, just like the FX that we have here in Makati.
I asked for “UNIONBANK” and he urged me to come in. I mean, hello right? I know that there are thousands of Unionbank branches in the Philippines, but it would be pretty stupid to analyze which branch, when Ortigas hosts a towering Unionbank Building in Meralco Avenue. It’s noted to be a pretty popular building in Ortigas. That should already be an acceptable destination. But I was wrong to assume.
I went inside looking elated. How hard could this be, right? I paid 10 pesos and uttered “UNIONBANK PO.” “ISANG UNIONBANK” No one reacted, neither he reacted. His only reaction was when he mentioned back: “SUKLI SA UNIONBANK”
I began texting my friend that I was on my way and didn’t pay attention to where the FX was going. Bad move. Well even if I was, I wouldn’t know anyways. I’d just let him do his job without me pestering him.
The FX just stopped and the driver said: “Ma’am dito na tayo.” As if I’m a challenged nut to not know where my intended stop was.
I looked around. I didn’t see any restaurants found in METROWALK and certainly I didn’t see any Unionbank building.
CONFUSED ME: “Manong, sa unionbank po ako?”
STUPID DRIVER: “Huh? Anong Unionbank? San ka ba miss?”
IRRITATED ME: “Kuya sa Unionbank po, dun sa tapat ng metrowalk?” (I’m beginning to lose my patience)
That’s when people started to raise their concerns. What the fuck did I say now?!
LADY Anonymous: “Ay nako miss, magkabilang dulo po ito. Duon ang union bank” (Pointing at the opposite direction, and god I didn’t see the towering Unionbank building…was it that far?)
DRIVER: “Akala ko naman kasi Landbank, miss! Unionbank pala, di po ito sasakyan nyo. Sumakay po kayo sa Robinson’s.”
WTF?! LANDBANK-UNIONBANK? COME ON!
I began to feel cold sweat. I looked around me and we were stuck in a very non-commuting area of Pasig where all I saw were cars and a traffic enforcer.
I wanted to scream and really whack the driver hard, but unfortunately I was at the rear part of the FX.
DRIVER: “BABA NA PO KAYO DITO kung hindi, mapapalayo na po kayo, C5 Na po yung unahan.
In my mind, I was screaming profanities. “Gago ka pala e! Ilang beses kong inulit ulit ang Unionbank, ikaw rin inulit mo, at bago ako sumakay, tinanong ko ang Unionbank! Wala kang kwenta! Isa kang sakit sa ulo ng lipunan! Landbank?! Kung natanga ako, mas karumaldumal na tanga ka! Ituturo mo pa sakin yun Landbank dyan? Anong gusto mo gawin ko? Pilitin syang maging UNION BANK? Gago!”
Well, that’s more or less what I said on my mind. But he was eager to drop me off as we were causing traffic.
So he dropped me off at this very embarrassing place where obviously no commuters were in sight. I can see Landbank at the other side, but it wouldn’t help me now. As the cars are moving, I stood still and wondered how am I going to cross this busy, car-infested street, and look for a freaking taxi. When suddenly, out of nowhere, a vacant taxi went my way. I waved my hands frantically, desperately and the taxi stopped.
I said “Manong, Unionbank tapat ng Metrowalk”
TAXI DRIVER: (Looking at the enforcer) Nako, alanganin yung pwesto natin.
ME: “Manong okay lang yan, sakay na ko ha?”
TAXI DRIVER: “Miss bakit naman nandun ka sumasakay?”
ME: “Manong di ko rin alam e!”
TAXI DRIVER: “San ba kayo galing miss?
ME: “Sa philippine stock exchange sa tektite, akala ko kasi may mga fx na umiikot dito”
TAXI DRIVER: “E lapit lang nun miss e, sana nilakad nyo nalang”
ME: “Talaga? Manong, just get me there , please.”
So, I ended up paying 60 bucks to escape a roughly 15 minute walk under the sun. But ended up worse, cursing and extremely embarrassed in the streets of Ortigas.
