Whoever created the concept of buffet is a genius. The modern concept was popularized by France in the 18th century and soon followed by Europe. For me, buffets represent human empowerment and liberalization through food. That’s why I love buffets. They are less formal and more practical for both parties concerned, the host and the guest. It also showcases more selections presented in such a way that the image of infinity is observed, which is always encouraging. Although buffets could be really tricky. Only some respectable catering companies can actually pull it off. And what I mean by pulling it off is that there’s excellence in the two criteria (SLA’s to some), which are quality and quantity. There are some cases in a production or operation set ups that quality is more observed and encouraged than quantity, especially if some issues are at bay. But in catering, it’s a do or die thing. The buffet should represent both quantity and quality. It’s an understatment. It’s what the hosts pay for and the clients are very critical about it, and they troop in more than 10’s with high expectations. That’s why caterers more often rely on word of mouth. Caterers like Manila Catering, Tamayo’s, Queensland, Contis are always on the list because somehow they’ve mastered and maintained this rule.

Luckily, the organization that I work for hosts a lunch buffet every month end, catered by Queensland. As yummy and delectable their dishes are, I know that I still have my own quirks. There is always one dish that I wouldn’t eat in the selection, not because of the taste, but because of the “dish” itself. A dish would sometimes involve major orchestration of vegetables or enveloped in milky and overly curry sauces, which I’m not a fan of. That’s why I love buffets. I’d get to have the power to choose and decline any dish. I know if I wouldn’t get either the spareribs or chicken pastel, I could just compensate it with a good helping of fish, not excessive, but just to compensate.

Yesterday, as I fell in line and picked my dishes, I declined the chicken submerged in coconut sauce and some dark beef teriyaki. I went directly to my favorite fish fillet dish. The server, a girl quite new to the usual staff, somehow got irritated that I passed the two dishes and quickly moved to the fillet. I must have somehow disoriented her rocket science serving method. She gave me a piece of fillet. A piece. And my plate looked unfortunate, like a globe that only shows the continent of Australia and nothing else. I politely asked for another fillet piece, but she ignored me. As other people carried off their plates with mountainous and varied servings, I’m standing there asking for more and appropriate fish fillet serving. I don’t look like a 5 year old, obviously. Out of annoyance, I looked at 3 more people left behind the line, got the thong and helped myself with t one more generous slice of fish fillet. The girl suddenly looked at me as if her universe collapsed. What I got was a reprimanding stare like a kid gets if he were to steal money from the church basket collection. Of course I looked at her back, feeling equally indifferent. There was a moment, a tense moment. And then I asked her to pass the mayo wasabi sauce, which at the end, I decided not to get because it’s made of mayo after all.

Fattening.

Bitch.

I went to my place and ate my generous serving of food. Looking at my plate, I didn’t as much went overboard. It was just enough, it wasn’t as colorful and alive as the others’, but I was happy with it. That’s what a buffet’s supposed to be. Everything that I eat for my ultimate enjoyment is something I did choose. Just to prove my point if I did ever commit an error in Buffet etiquette 101, I researched. And according to fitnessthroughgameplay.com, the usual buffet etiquettes are:

1. To stand in line and wait for your turn. - (Which I did no matter how my colleagues urged me to advance forward with them at their spot)

2. To Help yourself, as long as you use serving utensils - Helping yourself doesn’t mean to eat as if there’s no tomorrow, to help yourself is assessing your normal serving size and to hold preference to your chosen dishes.

3. Never take anything from your plate, while standing in line, and shove it in your mouth - In short, don’t be OBVIOUSLY PATAY GUTOM.

4. Do not let your eyes be bigger than your stomach - Again, it’s a buffet, not an eating contest

5. Think it through - This is where managing of dishes come in. It’s always good to make your plate more pleasing for the eyes. Do not worry, the caterers won’t charge you if you use an extra plate to contain your extra helping of pancit.

6. If you have to sneeze, cough and do something disgusting in the line, near the food, that involves liquid or air - DON’T

7. You don’t have to wait for your entire table to be seated before you eat - Um…HELL YEAH! Don’t have to tell me twice.

As I know I didn’t break any rules at all, I gladly ate my lunch with gusto. I loved the fish and I loved everything I put in my plate. I always love eating with a sense of empowerment. And empowered as I was, I went back to the buffet table and hoped that the girl would now put some extra serving of fish for me, on my plate, just the way I like it.